Double Parking

Wanna know how to make my blood boil?

So much so that there is actually steam shooting out of my ears like a whistling tea kettle that no one is attempting to turn the burner off?..Like in the cartoons..But in real life?

DOUBLE PARK

This can mean many things.

1: In the mall parking lot when it is 30 degrees outside and you decide that your car is hot-dizzle enough that it should be abe to take up two parking spaces in the lot.  In or near the front row.  

See, I can understand if you have some slammin' little car like a Jag or even an absolutely adorable Audi.  But, you see, these people who usually own these fine pieces usually do their double parking deed towards the BACK of the lot, as not to disturb others or as not to BE disturbed.  This, my friend is acceptable.  Double parking your PT Cruiser in the front row at the mall on a 30 degree day when I have 2 children and a double stroller to contend with so not in my realm of rationalization.  YOUR CAR IS NOT BANGIN' YO!  And neither is your Honda.  Suped up or not.  I care not.  My Jeep can park reverenty next to your excuse of an exclaimation point of a car.  And the world still turns..Imagine that.  

2:  In the city.  This one makes me LAY on my HORN.  I mean, I get COZY with my HORN.  Go on ahead of me and then turn on your hazards only to double park.  Bringing me to a complete standstill. A complete stop.  I cannot move because of the oncoming traffic, selfish genius.  HELLO. I am not a superhero and cannot fly over your double parked car to get to the other side.  If there are no available spots, let's keep it moving, folks.

(GHETTO)

TINKERBELL

  

  is NOT going to show up, sprinkle some of her crack dust (cause we're in the ghetto) and magically create you a spot to park in front of your favorite bodega.  Turn off the hazards, Navagator, and keep it moving.  Lest you become a victim of my horn laying extravaganza.  I can rest there for hours, Nav..I seriously could.  Horns are nothing compared to the pterodactyl screams of a one year old.

This is how rage build up inside of me...And then I need a dance party to shake the parking madness away.  

Turn up the music.  LOUD.

Comments

[Jaguar San Francisco]

Everyone in my apartment building parks over the white lines and as a result there's about an additional 5 spots that could be used if everyone took the time properly. I don't have assigned parking so it's pretty much whoever gets there first gets the spot. The spaces are not narrow and most of these people have small cars. They are simply inconsiderate.