Fat Jeans

I just had the most brilliant idea.

I am going to open a new restaurant called "Fat Jeans".

You can only dine in my restaurant IF you are wearing your "fat pants".  And can prove it..none of these "I swear! These size 2s ARE my fat pants!"  Turn your skinny butt around.  No entry.  

Dress code strictly enforced.  

No skinny jeans (unless your muffin toppin' it...then I may reconsider the situation..Depending on the size of the jeans AND the muffin top.)

And the food?

Who cares about the food!  Anything tastes good when you're comfortable and don't feel like a stuffed sausage next to Miss America Size 4.  Or Michael Phelps' twin! (although there would be pumpkin pie as a choice for dessert...The "jacked up, pumpkin pie on steroids" kind..A la mode, of course.)

Possibility of a "weigh in" at the beginning of the meal where the patron steps on the scale..And then a "weigh out"...The bigger the gain the bigger the PRIZE! 

Trip for two to Aspen!! (cause you sure don't have to wear a bathing suit there!!) 

Now to find the entrepreneur....Any takers?

Or peeps who would wait in line to eat at my fine dining establishment?

Comments

[Flutterby]

And the first skinny snotbucket that tries to get in by whining *But my doctor says I need to eat more and gain some weight* gets tied up next to the door and everyone gets to totally bitch slap her on the way out.

[Sarah Norval]

I just REALLY laughed out loud at that one. We can set her as an "example". "Yo! MacDonalds is down the street..I'm sure it will suit your purpose just fine ".

[deidre]

There is a restaurant here -- a Brazilian steakhouse -- that I always say I need to wear fat jeans to. I think I need to figure out a way to make elastic-top pants cool so they will stretch with my stomach when I eat there. Maybe there could be a gift shop at your restaurant that sells these fashionable pants?