Pug Catcher

10:00 this morning my doorbell rings.  

I glance at the door and see a figure standing outside on my steps.  I think “Ok, Fed Ex man, leave the package, because I so am not answering the door in my pajamas and ESPECIALLY not without makeup.”

He doesn’t leave.

Thank god Chris is home.  And he thinks nothing about answering the door in his boxers.  

Guess who?

DOG OFFICER.

Yup.  I was stunned myself.  Especially because we have taken many precautions with our dog because we know that she’s a reckless menace and is known to rile up 2 entire neighborhoods of dogs with her shenanigans.  

We installed an electric fence this past summer ( I know, I know...Sounds mean, BUT she was only shocked like 4 or 5 times before she learned..Oh wait, there was that time that Nicholas got ahold of the wireless remote...Sheesh..Now I feel like PETA should be called on me) The ONLY reason we had to install the fence is because our yard is impossible to fence in the physical fashion.  It’s a really weird shape and our yard overlaps with another neighbor’s...All THAT fun stuff. Anyways, Gracie has been safe and sound within the confines of our yard ever since.  But...With the lovely New England weather, the ground shifted and the electric fence shorted, making it unusable.  But, Gracie doesn’t know that! She’s actually been staying in the yard.

Until Kayla came to visit.  Kayla is our other dog.  Our “first born”.  But, alas, she is terrified to live with us now.  She hates Gracie because she is so hyper and the kids are too loud for her.  I really don’t blame her.  This morning I caught Nicholas pulling at her nipples.  

Anyways, Kayla is a “mosier”.  She mosies here and there...Waddling around, taking her time.  She knows no boundaries and thinks that everyone loves her, so everyone’s yard is HER yard.  

Backing up….DOG OFFICER.  He talks to Chris and informs him that a “neighbor” complained about “2 pugs” being in “his” yard and “going to the bathroom”.  The (as I like to refer to him) DOG CATCHER then hands Chris the leash laws and all that.  Chris explains the situation that we are dealing with and the DOG CATCHER is actually understanding and nice.  Luckily our dogs are all current with their shots are are registered with the town and all that.  We’re legit (which actually, isn’t typical of us...Usually we “forget” to do things like this….But we really ARE trying to be good citizens..) Anyhow, the DOG CATCHER leaves.

And I am WICKED MAD.

Who the heck called the freaking DOG CATCHER?!?!??! 

A COWARD that’s who….I mean really! If you have a problem? Please come to us like a REAL neighbor and TALK to us...Are we scary?..Wait..Don’t answer that...quite possibly we are as we lit off fireworks in our driveway last Fourth of July and next door neighbors got all in a tizzy.  Opening up his door and glaring.  And turing on his front light.  Geez.

So this is what I’m dealing with now.  I know that Gracie followed Kayla into someone else’s yard who is a coward to not come to us to tell us that they have a problem.  HECK! WE had NO IDEA they were out of the freaking YARD! ARGH!

And I have NO IDEA who called.  

So now? I’m a bit obsessed.  I’ve gotten just about nothing done today because I keep stopping by every one of my windows and throwing daggers out of my eyes and glaring at each house I can see.  I probably look like the crazy cat lady or something.  I’m the crazy pug lady.  

I had to roll the trash barrel out to the corner of the driveway.  First, I was looking for signs of poop outside of our yard, and second?  I was throwing as many dirty looks as possible to as many houses as possible.  I quite possibly looked a bit insane...Madly insane.  Hope it scared "him".  

I think I’ve narrowed it down to 2-3 houses as potential targets, although now? No one can be trusted.  And also? No more misses nice guy. I’ve NEVER called the cops on anyone for anything.  But now?  ALL BETS ARE OFF.  You’re doing work inside your house? You better have a permit.  You're burning brush? Better have a freaking permit.  Yelling? That’s domestic.  I’m calling the cops. 

You think dog poop in your yard is bad? What about a smoldering diaper on your porch?

Or fireworks at midnight? 

I never knew that 2 pugs could cause such havoc! 

Also...I'm taking suggestions on how to walk 2 pugs in Arctic New England with a 1 and 2 year old.  WITHOUT killing myself on the ice and snow or WITHOUT killing my children of frostbite.

Comments

[Willow]

you do the laundry (husband's in separate wash and dry cycle) and make it his chore to walk the cutie-as-a-button pugs....
you stay warm and cozy, nothing broken or frostbitten and he gets pooper scoop duty!!! in the cold!!! with the cowardly neighbor ice stares!!!

[Flutterby]

I will tell you why people call someone *official* rather than deal with a neighbor especially if it's one they don't know all that well... because I know from experience that people usually don't like someone complaining about ANYTHING about them or their pets or kids or whatever... no matter how nice you try to be about it. It gets taken very personally sometimes. So yes... I am one of those who will call animal control if a dog is barking it's ass off driving me nuts or running loose if I don't know the owner. Or when cats are in my yard at all hours of the night... my trap is set and animal control comes to pick them up. And I am certainly not going to confront the ass who plays music so loudly that it can be heard EIGHT houses down the street... well ok... he did it once. The nice police officer that paid him a visit convinced him it was not a habit that was conducive to good neighborhood relations...

Anyway... please don't be pissed at whomever called... there may have been a good reason for them not just talking to you.