So this is why I shouldn't be driving.
This happened this afternoon after a trip to Target..On the way home.
Before getting onto the highway, I swung thru Wendys to grab a Frosty because the stupid antibiotics are ripping my stomach to shreds and I needed some ice cream..pronto! And, of course, there was a chorus of "FRENCH FRIES!" from the back seat.
Here I am, on the ramp accelerating onto the highway (taking a bite of my Frosty). A truck cuts me off and won't let me merge.
<HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK> I lay on my horn and shake a spoon at him, although he doesn't look. Stupid delivery trucks.
"Mommy! Music!" I take another bite of my oh-so-refreshing Frosty and turn up the music (which is already thumping with bass...Yes..My children are a bit hood-ratish). The problem is, is that if I refuse to turn the bass thumping music up, or, god forbid, turn the radio station to another more mellow one, I will hear shrieks that will ring in my ears for DAYS. So we bump down the highway with my daughter getting down and dirty in her carseat (ps..She ADORES Lady GaGa..Go figure..And Britney..Hands down, I guess I have to claim her now. See? It's in the BLOOD!)
So if one looks in my car you would see a one year old droppin' it like it's hot in her carseat, an almost three year old begging for FRENCH FRIES! like a seagull and me...Eating my frosty with a spoon while driving and handing the three year old french fries in the back seat...All while singing Jaime Foxx.
Then the phone rings! I put down my frosty (stupid phone!) turn down the music and answer the phone.
"MOMMY! MUSIC! MOMMY FRENCH FRIES! JUICE!"
"LISTEN YOU TWO! MOMMY IS ON THE PHONE! WHO WANTS A TIME OUT?"
Silence...(Radio:"Just dance..gonna be okay...Just dance")
Where would I put them for time out?
I have no idea...Do I pull over and make them sit facing the woods? Do I throw the french fries out the window as a punishment? But that would be littering! Who am I kidding. I just started being environmentally conscious and that meant not spitting my gum out onto the pavement.
I finished my phone call with the kids silent, and resumed eating my frosty.
"MOMMY! MUSIC! MOMMY! FRENCH FRIES! JUICE!"
And here we go again.
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